Singles Dating Sites

How To Get That Important Second Date

By Melanie on August 7th, 2011

Getting a first date is easy; it is the second that indicates that you have succeeded. Once you have put up your profile online with an interesting a fairly humorous write up about yourself and uploaded a couple of pictures that show you at your best – all you have to do is wait.

Eventually, you will get a few bites as the other prospective singles on your online dating site pick up the bait of your profile. You can then filter through the responses, reply to the ones that interest you and then start chatting with potential partners.

Eventually you will move on to arranging to meet in person and have your first date – this is where the work comes in. if you were to think of a first date in terms of an interview, then you know that you will need to impress your date in order to move on to that next round.

So, what do you do and avoid doing in order to get that second date. The most obvious answer is to make sure that you have a great first date; however, there are other methods that you can use to get a second date.

Two for One

One way to get a second date right off the bat is to arrange for two outings. Of course, only go through the trouble if you are sufficiently impressed with your potential partner and really want to get to know him or her. The problem with this method is that if done improperly, it can come off as clingy or desperate. On the other hand, if you have an average interest level for this person and are not sure if you two will get along, then it is better to have a casual first date and see how things work out. This way, if he or she proves to be boring person or ends up being not your type – then you can back out gracefully.

However, if you are really interested try and schedule two dates in advance. Do remember that you need to be very smooth when you do this and make the person feel at ease. You need to make sure that your second date is something that your date will be very interested in. For instance if you have decided to meet a potential partner over the weekend, you can opt to have dinner with him or her on Friday or Saturday night and arrange to attend an art show on Sunday night if your partner is fond of art. Do note that you will need to make sure that your date is comfortable with this and does not feel trapped into a situation as this can make you come across as overbearing if you do not handle it well. This works best if the second date really cues in on your date’s interests, eg. a baseball game for a sports fan, concert for a music fan, etc.

First Impressions – Starting off on the right foot

If you are unable to schedule two dates in a row, then you’ll have to go the more traditional route. This should go without saying and is true of any situation, but first impressions can make or break your chances for a second date. It sets the tone for the rest of your time together. If you make a bad first impression, you will have to play catch up which can really kill any chance at romance.

Pay close attention to your appearance. Yes, there is more to a person than their looks, but how someone presents themselves can say a lot about an individual. If they are well groomed and fashionable, this tends to give an overall good impression to others. Pay attention to the details. For girls: waxed facial hair, manicured nails, smooth legs, a nice soft perfume, etc. For guys: hair on the back of the neck, nose hair, fingernails and pleasant cologne.

Make sure you greet your date with a smile. Compliment them on their appearance and tell them you are excited to have a nice evening together. It is extremely important to make your date feel comfortable. The more confident and warm you are with them, the more they will let down their natural guard and allow you to get to know each other.

Closing the Deal

If your evening goes well, offer to walk or share a taxi with your date. Do not forget to hug and or kiss your date goodnight as this will help seal the deal.

Make sure you pay sincere compliments to your date and occasionally touch their hand to make them realize you mean what you are saying.

Learn to gauge the mood of your date as the evening progresses and you will be able to tell if your date is enjoying himself or herself. If you feel confident enough that your date is a success, then you can opt to mention that you would like to see her again and tell her that you are enjoying your date.

Do not look to finalize your plans for your second date on your first date – this has to be done on the telephone a day later or during the night when you get back.

Don’t Discuss Specifics

It is a capital offense in dating, if you try and arrange the time and place of your second date and secure the verbal confirmation of your partner. It will make you come across as desperate and this will mess up nay ground work you have laid earlier. Remember that all you are looking for are indicators and signals that your date is having a good time and would like to see you again.

Also, after your date is over and you have returned home, call or send a text message to your date, telling him or her that you had a good time.

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